


Nero's Palace of Fics

by Niiro_Nero (orphan_account)



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 10:50:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7931821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Niiro_Nero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A place where I'll be posting my TT's and stories based around my OC, the cheetah Nero.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nero's Palace of Fics

**Author's Note:**

> A newcomer to Zootopia is taken by his co-workers to a restaurant and experiences what has become known as a "Local Attraction."

“Hey, Alex! What are you doing tonight after work?” Derrick, a tiger, leaned against the cubicle of his co-worker, a lion, and tapped away at his phone.

“Uh…Nothing, why?” turning away from his email, the lion took off his headset and scratched his mane.

“Well, me and the others were wondering if you wanna come out to…uh, shit. I can’t pronounce it. Anyway, it’s a place in Savanna Central. Good food, an amazing wait staff, and great entertainment.” The tiger gave Alex an elusive smile.

The lion considered his options carefully.

He’d just moved to Zootopia, fresh from university, and had only recently joined the marketing team Derrick was the lead for. He didn’t really know the city all that well, or have anyone to spend the day with. He’d probably just end up sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating take-out anyway…

Ah, hell. Might as well.

“Sure. Can you write down the name of the place?”

“Just search for “Best Restaurants in Zootopia,” it’s probably on the list. You’ll know it when you see it.” With that, the tiger walked back to his desk, telling his team-members that the lion was in.

“…But I don’t know where I’m going!” sighing, Alex pulled up Zoogle and did as the tiger said.

He found the list, number two on the search results, and opened the article. Scrolling down, he knew instantly what Derrick meant when he said Alex would be able to find it.

“Domus P-pretdio, pretio…How the hell do you say that?”

Checking the reviews for the restaurant, Alex saw a lot of mentions of a “Nero,” and a “cheetah,” who he guessed was Nero. Most of the reviews, 4 and 5 stars, had some mentioning of him it seemed. A lot talked about his “performances.”

_What did I just get myself into?_ Glancing at the clock, the lion went back to work and decided that he’d just deal with it when he had to.

“Why couldn’t we just go to some bar or something…?” sighing, he put his headset back on and pulled up his charts.

 

* * *

 

 

Hours later the lion found himself walking with his teammates on the side-walk, trailing just behind Derrick. Along with the tiger was a rhino, Eric, two timber wolves named Don and Ron (brothers), and a weasel named Jack. Each had ditched their ties, rolled up their sleeves, and untucked their shirts slightly.

“You’re in for a treat, Alex! DPE is amazing. Good drinks, great food, and of course Nero.” Jack grinned from his perch on Eric’s shoulder.

“So, uh, who is Nero? Read some reviews and he got brought up a lot.” Derrick turned and gave a slight grin.

“Telling would ruin the best part of the night!” the tiger gestured for the lion to cross the street.

“Just past this corner.” Jack snorted slightly.

“Could find this place drunk and blind we’ve been here so much.”

“Probably because you’ve stumbled out of here drunk so much, Jack.” Eric gave the smaller mammal a look.

“Oh. Yeah.” The weasels embarrassed expression triggered a wave of laughter as the pack of mammals crossed the street and rounded a corner.

Alex could tell immediately what restaurant they were entering, situated directly in the middle of the street. It looked like something pulled out of time, ripped from the ancient past and dropped in the middle of Zootopia. Tall, white marble, columns wrapped in vines, elegant arches, accompanied by statutes and arts of ancient heroes and figures of historic importance. The entirety of the exterior looked like it was made of marble, and there was a small patch of flowers on both sides of the entrance. It was the nicest building on the street.

Right above it, in Roman themed characters, was the name “Domus Pretiosarum Epularum.”

_I should have kept my tie._ The lion felt incredibly underdressed.

“Alright, in we go. Alex, you’re at the back. We want to make sure you get the…royal treatment.” Derrick gave the lion a small smirk before nodding at the others and entering the establishment.

_He’s up to something…_

They waited outside for a few seconds, until Derrick waved them through the large, wooden, doors. A wall of sensation struck Alex. Noise from voices and music, and the smell of a variety of foods that made his mouth water. The interior was just as extravagant as the exterior, and similarly themed. The waiters wore dress shirts, ties, and slacks as they moved from table to table with a practiced professionalism.

He didn’t see anything unusual that would warrant the secrecy Derrick and the others had enforced.

Then he turned and saw _him_.

A cheetah of average height and build, wearing a purple trimmed toga and a wreath crown, standing in front of the guests. The smaller feline’s eyes moved over the crowd, nodding at what were obviously regulars based on their raised hands and calls of “Ave Imperator!” before coming to a stop on Alex.

“Halt! You there! Yes, you, noble lion! My eyes have not gazed upon you before! Come, grace me with your presence!” the cheetah waved Alex forward with a paw.

The lion felt large paws clap him on the back, and push him towards the cheetah. He turned and saw Derrick, whose teeth were bared in a large grin.

“I hope you like wine, kid!” Derrick exchanged a wink with the cheetah.

“W-what?” the tiger didn’t elaborate, just pushed him towards the waiting cheetah.

As soon as they were within arm’s reach, the smaller feline grabbed Alex’s large paw and raised it high above him, clearing his throat. “Attention! Lord and Ladies of Domus Pretiosarum Epularum, hearken to me! A newcomer has joined us all in this most illustrious of halls!”

With all eyes now on them, Alex felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment. But, he noted, most seemed to be watching the cheetah more than him. The lion was just a prop, now. Part of the show.

“You know what we must do!” the surrounding diners cheered, egging the cheetah on.

The cheetah pulled Alex towards a nearby seat, placed near the center of the walkway for all to see, and sat him on it. Looking back at his teammates, he saw them all grinning. Derrick was giving him a thumbs up, and it became obvious who’d arranged this whole thing.

“Now, which is most preferable for your palate?” looking to his left, Alex noted the cheetah holding two glasses. One was red, full of what smelt like wine, and the other clear and odorless.

_Water. He’s offering me an out._ Sighing, the lion reached for the glass with the wine, _Well, when in **Rome**._

To the sounds of cheers, he drained his first glass of the night. The wine was obviously watered down, adding to his conclusion that this was just a show. An initiation for the newbies. Soon after he’d finished, he felt the slender feline’s paw reach for his own again, raising it high once more. Like the champion of a competition.

“I think he has earned a seat at the bar, don’t you, Sire?” Derrick grinned at him as he walked over with the others.

“I do believe you to be correct, Derrick.” Gesturing to a nearby server, the cheetah winked at Alex and headed back to the entrance.

As he followed after the server, a lynx, Alex wondered if he’d be stumbling home tonight.

 

* * *

 

 

It became rather apparent that, _yes_ , he would be stumbling home if his coworkers had anything to say about it. Soon after taking their seats, they called for the cheetah, Nero, like the Emperor, and forced Alex to try and pronounce the name of the place. The lion had been given another glass of wine, not watered down this time, for his efforts. He was positive that the cheetah and Derrick were working together to get him drunk off his tail.

“S-so, uh. What’s with the cheetah?” Alex glanced at one of his co-workers, Jack the weasel, gesturing a paw towards where the cheetah was discussing with a nearby bartender.

“Who, Nero? He’s pretty much the face of this place. Been here for as long as I can remember.” The smaller mammal took a long drink from his cup, ignoring Eric’s mumble of not carrying his drunk ass home.

“Yeah, but what’s with the Emperor stuff?” Alex sipped his own drink, the third of the night thanks to the combined efforts of Derrick and Nero.

“You’d have to ask him yourself!” there was a glare from Derrick at that suggestion, and Jack just grinned.

Alex filed it away for later, and returned to his drink, keeping his eyes on the toga-clad mammal, half-listening and participating in the conversations that occurred around him. The cheetah was strangely fascinating. Obviously really into whatever role he was projecting.

“How long you guys been coming here?”

“Huh? Oh, uh…” the weasel thumped Eric on the side.

“Yeah?” the rhino grunted and looked down.

“How long we been comin here again?” Jack drained his drink, and gestured to the leopard bartender for another.

“Hell if I know, at least a few years now.” Eric waved away the weasel and returned to nursing his drink.

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Jack took quick sips from his new glass, ignoring Eric who, once again, complained about not carrying him home.

Shrugging, Alex took a sip of his own drink and turned to chat with Derrick about work, something the tiger was always eager to rant about, it seemed. Don and Ron, the timber wolves, jumping in to add their own snip-bits here and there, too.

 

* * *

 

 

Mid-way into the evening, and several more drinks later for everyone involved, the cheetah had moved to a position behind the bar. According to him it was because the bartender was overworked, and needed a little time off.

At least that’s what Alex was able to piece together from the rather confusing manner of speaking that the cheetah had, when in his role.

Speaking of which…Looking over at his co-workers, who appeared distracted for the moment, he leaned in and cleared his throat.

 “H-hey, Nero? W-what’s with the Roman thing, anyway?” the lion gestured to the smaller feline, who was dressed in his usual toga while leaning on the counter for conversation.

“Roman thing? My noble friend, tis not a thing!” the cheetah swept his arms to the ceiling, ignoring the groans of “not this again,” from the other patrons.

“I am the Emperor of this fine establishment, where both the most noble of families, and the most plebian, may gather and bask in my glory whilst enjoying a fine selection of nourishment!” leaning in the cheetah grinned at the lion.

“So, eat and drink hearty! Your Emperor commands it!” snatching the bottle of wine off the counter, Nero poured more wine in to the lion’s glass.

“E-er…I don’t think he should be havin’ any more, Sire.” Derrick said, leaning over to examine the glass.

The lion just looked at his, now full, glass and shrugged. Reaching one massive paw down, he took it in hand and began sipping it.

“Non certe! Bacchus, and our maned companion himself, would disagree with you! Let go of your worries, my finely striped friend! Tis a night of celebration!” placing the bottle down on the counter, the cheetah gestured to them all.

“Drink!” looking at one another, the regulars sighed and raised their glasses, knowing the cheetah was most adamant when wine was on the table.

“You were telling a most riveting tale before, Eric. Some office triumph of yours, I believe?” corking the bottle and moving it to a new location, Nero took a glance around the restaurant.

“H-huh? Oh! Right, well. It wasn’t anything special, really. Just closed some deals, is all.” The rhino looked down at his massive glass and grimaced, “only a few hundred in commission.”

“Nonsense! All victories matter, both the mightiest and the most mundane. Tell me about it, I insist!” and so the rhino did. Driven by both wine, and the cheetah’s encouragement. His companions falling into a comfortable silence, adding in their own opinions and perspectives, exaggerating the rhino’s accomplishments.

And the cheetah sat there and encouraged them all, never dropping character. He hadn’t all night. It was like the feline really believed he was Nero, the Emperor.

_Crazy bastard._ Taking a larger drink from his wine, the lion stared drunkenly at his co-workers as they got to a particularly exciting part of whatever story they were telling.

“Are you feeling well?” a voice dragged the lion from his thoughts.

Looking over from his drink, he had to blink to focus on the mildly concerned expression of the cheetah in front of him. The toga wearing mammal was glancing between his laughing co-workers, who’d fallen into some inside conversation or another, and himself. He had a pleasant grin, but was watching the lion carefully.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” Picking up his glass, the larger feline frowned when he saw it was empty.

“Uh, could I have some more? S-ire?” the last word didn’t roll off the tongue well. He’d never even thought he’d ever have to say it.

Damn weird restaurant. Good food, though. Service wasn’t too bad, either.

“Ah, you do not have to address me so formally here! Tis a place where all mammals, from the richest Caesar, to the poorest plebeian, are equal.” Here the cheetah frowned and shook his head.

“Alas, my country-mammal, though your mind may be as sharp as the Sword of Mars, I cannot, in good consciousness, serve you another glass. Bacchus’ hold on your senses may be greater than you know.” Nero reached down and pulled out a cup, filled with water and ice, and placed it before the lion.

“Fontus may be a better deity for you to appreciate now.”

“F-fontus? I don’t know anything about, you know, gods or anything.” As he sipped the water, the lion found it better to his tastes than the wine would have been.

“God of Wells and Springs my dear- Oh! Alas, despite our conversations earlier, I’m most aggrieved to admit that your name has tumbled from my mind.” Nero reached across the bar, and offered his paw.

“…Alex.” The lion took the spotted feline’s paw in his own, giving it a firm shake.

“A most joyous meeting, Alex. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that you’ve chosen to spend the eve of your week’s end with us here at Domus Pretiosarum Epularum!” the name rolled off the feline’s tongue elegantly.

“What does that mean? The name, that is.”

“A House of Expensive Foods!” Nero gave Alex a small wink, making the larger feline snort.

“After seeing my check? I’m not surprised.”

“Ah, but my noble friend! You did not need to request so bountiful a feast!” the cheetah leaned over to snatch a menu from a holster on the side.

“See here! _All items may be ordered at a half serving, per the customer’s request._ ” Nero tapped the sentence with a clawed finger.

“…S-seriously?” Alex looked down at the boxes that held his appetizers, which had been far larger than he’d first though, and groaned.

“Your companions did not tell you this?” now the cheetah was amused.

“No. No they didn’t.” Alex said, glaring at his co-workers.

“Sometimes thing tumble from one’s mind when they have become so commonplace there. This does not excuse your lack of foresight, however! You should have read the menu it its full, not skipped directly to the paintings of our most delicious foodstuffs!” shrugging, Nero closed the menu and tossed it to the side without a care.

The lion watched it sail through the air, and land on a nearby counter. To his drunken mind, it was amazing that it had managed to fly so smoothly. Shaking his head, he grunted and turned his attention to the grinning cheetah.

“Yeah, yeah.” Alex sipped his water in frustration, glancing at his watch.

“What time do you guys close, anyway?”

“The gates shut and lock but an hour from the new day’s coming.” Nero said, as he cleaned Alex’s old wine glass.

“So…Uh, what? 11pm?” the lion scratched his mane.

“Tis what I said!”

“R-right. When do they usually go?” Alex gestured to his co-workers, who’d started to slow.

“A little before then, if they’ve naught to do the following morn. On all other eves, hours range from a little past the 8th or the 9th!” The cheetah paused in his cleaning and grinned at the lion’s expression, noting the time to be a little passed the 9pm.

“Worry not, noble Alex! I’ve a feeling that the eve will soon end.” Nero gave a small nod towards the tiger, Derrick, who was leaning more heavily on his paw than he was an hour ago.

“The centurion of your cohort appears to be entering Somnus’ grasp. I suspect that you will soon depart these halls.”

Just as the cheetah had finished his words did Derrick rise, swaying, from his seat and gesture to the assortment of glasses and foods. “I’ll cover the drinks; you guys head home for the night. I’ll see you Monday morning.”

With mumbled thanks, as the effects of alcohol began to take hold, the four other mammals rose from their seats and stumble towards the exit doors. They paused only briefly to toss bills on the table, and a chorus of “Cya next week, Nero!” was left behind them as they moved. It took the combined strength of both wolves, Don and Ron, to hold Eric, the rhino, even slightly steady. The weasel, Jack, merely leaned against the leg of the larger, horned, mammal and swayed as he was pushed back and forth from the stumbling.

It was obviously a well-practiced and rehearsed routine.

“Noble Derrick! Again you surprise this Emperor with your generous nature! How shall you be paying this fine eve?” The tiger merely offered his card, looking at Alex.

“You sticking around?”

“Nah, I’ll probably head out soon, too.”

“Alright. Anything you get after this point is on you, though!” Taking the card back from the cheetah, who’d swiped it and rung everything up in a motion as swift as his species, the tiger waved a paw at the two remaining felines.

“A most gregarious soul, would you not agree?” Nero gathered up the tips and slide them inside his toga.

Alex didn’t even begin to question where the cheetah put it.

“Yeah, I guess so.” The lion said, sipping at his water.

“What troubles your mind?” the cheetah cleared the rest of the counter of its various contents and placed the dishes on a tray beneath the bar.

“It’s just, I don’t know. Nerves, I guess? New city, new job. That kind of thing.” Alex drained the rest of his water and held the glass in his paws. Letting the condensation cool them.

“Often times change is both a blessing and a curse, I am afraid. It is exciting to see and experience new things, but also we take a great risk in leaving what we knew behind. It is up to you to make such risk worthwhile, my friend.” Nero leaned in and took the glass from the lion’s paws.

“Go to your hearth and sleep on it. Things may be clearer on the morrow!” gesturing to the doors, the cheetah gave Alex a small smile.

Nodding the lion stood, unsteadily, from his seat and threw some bills on the counter. He had just begun walking to the doorway when a voice called out to him from behind. Turning, he saw Nero walking towards him with a paw extended.

“It was a good meeting you. Welcome to Zootopia, Alex.” The cheetah said, and Alex blinked at the sudden break in character.

“Er, right. Thanks. You too.” Shaking the toga-clad mammals paw, the lion turned and left through the large, elephant sized doors of the restaurant. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest.

_Oh dear God._ Opening his paw, he stared down at a small, crinkled, slip of paper which had been hurriedly scrawled on. Written, in flowing cursive, was a simple message.

 

_"It really was a pleasure to meet you. Come back again sometime!_

_If you ever need a mammal show you the city, give me a call!_

_###-###-####_

_-Chris (Nero)"_

 

_Well, that’s interesting._


End file.
